Old 07-28-2007, 08:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Hi I'm new here and my name is Tawni. I'm a 17 year old female and I'm half Indonesian and half caucasian
I love cartooning but I'm quite an amateur. Here is a cartoon I drew recently...please tell me what u think!


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Old 07-28-2007, 09:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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hi, i try to be constructive, but i probably cant help to bitch as well. ok here i go:

1. i like the different colors between the 2 fragments, trendy.
2. leaving away the ground in the 2nd is probably a good decision.
3. Shoulders of the girl, her body is way out or proportion. Her face is a bit to low too on the left picture.
4. They obviously chinese or thai, i guess.:P But cyan arms, dont know a race with cyan arms.
5. Apparently the guy made a backflip mid-air, but the lines you made dont show that:P
6. pms kills, if you mean premenstrual sympton, yes you are right. fun. :P

so overall: good amateur cartoon.
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Old 07-28-2007, 09:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Thank you very much for your great suggestions...you really have an observant eye! I guess all one can do is practise, practise, practise! BTW those are supposed to be his feet at the top of the second frame!!!
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Old 07-28-2007, 10:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
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tawni pls introduce yourself in the newbie thread. thx
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Old 07-29-2007, 01:03 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Hi I'm new here and my name is Tawni. I'm a 17 year old female and I'm half Indonesian and half caucasian
I love cartooning but I'm quite an amateur. Here is a cartoon I drew recently...please tell me what u think!


[/b]
I think the idea is funny. It's obvious this girl's waiting for the bus and then that dude ask what she's doing there :10900: . Putting that busstop sign in the spot was a great idea.

I dunno 'bout the colors . It just burns into my eyes. I don't mind if the anatomy isn't how it supposed to be @ all, it makes the style unique. Nice birdseyeview in the second frame
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Old 07-29-2007, 08:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I like it ! Tho I'd prefer WAP! rather than Boom! for sound effect! Keep posting more of yr stuff, Tawni!
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Old 07-29-2007, 12:35 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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what do you think of the way i drew his toes in the second frame?
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Old 07-29-2007, 03:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
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put some toenails on... and they'll be groovey :10900:
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Old 07-29-2007, 04:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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hahaha...but those are the bottoms of his feet! LOL!

The reason i asked about the feet is because my Art teacher got really mad at me for drawing them that way
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Old 07-29-2007, 04:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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well, if Delano tot they were his fingers... u can see why yr art teacher got mad for misrepresentation....
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